


Broken Fires

by FeralDraeko



Category: N/A - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 13:16:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17767478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeralDraeko/pseuds/FeralDraeko
Summary: An emotional and strong passage written from a broken heart and a disturbed soul.Read for a cry, or a power sense of emotion and hidden power. Because once you begin to read you may not wish to stop.





	Broken Fires

You know, it's funny to think that just last night your brother texted me asking if you where okay. The truth I knew, and the truth I said. I told him that you were probably playing your games because you have hardly even talked to me. But what a poor soul I was. I did not let anyone (not even myself) believe that anything could be wrong and that what you were doing killed me. 

Just moments before we were talking about something special. But that immediately died away for your games and your computer. Our future thrown away so you could ignore me and try to make a quick buck. You say its for us, but in reality deep down its to push me away. And I thought of this as I laid on my side facing my wall where I was watching a video of some nonsense when to my surprise came another text.

You told me you loved and missed me and your brother asked me if we were okay. I lied.

I did not lie when I told you that I loved you and missed you as well, but I lied when I picked up my phone and texted your brother back the words:  
"We're fine"

We were not fine, we have not been fine. My brain tells me that its your fault but my heart says its my own. Perhaps if i had been a better partner than you never would have ignored me. Maybe if I had been a better partner then I would have let you play your games and forget I even existed. Because that's what a good partner does right? Let the other do as they please because it is the only thing that makes them happy. Yet I love you enough to not let that happen but love you too much to not let you go. 

My heart and brain wrapped in chains pulling at each other until one gives up. Its always my brain. The feelings in my heart trick my brain into rationality and soon I'm overwhelmed with hurt and pain and the need to hurt my physical body so my soul can relieve some of that pain. But I let my soul take the suffering because of the promise I made you. I have always kept that promise but you don't seem to do the same. It is not that you have hurt yourself but all of the promises you have made about us being together forever and that you would never treat me like anyone else had. But here we are again. 

I have yet to be caught in my lies by anyone else but myself. I have avoided you not because I wish to part from you but because if I see you I will only lie to myself and to everyone around me. Because if I see you then ill turn around and lie like I did in the texts.

And I hate myself for it. I hate how weak I am and that no matter what I do I hide the pain behind a smile. As all pain leaves from my soul I begin to only feel weaker. My body aches for your touch and for your kind words but my heart warns me. I want so badly your touch and sweet promises. But I know they mean nothing. Because if they meant something then I never would of had to lie.

The worst of it all is that I know that I'm going to be watching everyone smile and laugh tomorrow with chocolates and bears. While i sit here holding onto a drawing that means nothing anymore. My love poured into it only to know it will never be returned. No one will ever love me like you did, and no one will ever have my love like you did. I feel my soul begin to fade as I have never avoided you and it was the day before valentines. I feel weak and destroyed. I'd be lucky if I made it out alive today.

Most will call me pathetic for the way I am, and I know this is true. But when you came into my life you took me for everything I am and have. And once again you left me. Alone, cold, afraid, and crying.


End file.
